Kendra is 2 years old.
Esther and Art have managed to stay together, but it has been, to say the
least, difficult. Esther keeps saying that if “it” happens again, she’s going
to leave - Art’s temper has only gotten worse, and he sometimes hits Marsha.
Kendra’s behavior seems erratic and confusing to Esther in particular, and Art
to some extent: Kendra throws temper tantrums for no apparent reason, and
Esther doesn’t know what to do to soothe her. The tension in the house is
unbearable.
Art and Esther have been
going to see a couples therapist since Kendra was about a year old. At the
beginning of the work, things seemed to improve slightly, but Esther noticed
that Art was able to “put on a good show” in therapy and, while the worst
aspects of his behavior ceased for a time, the real issues present in their
relationship did not come to the fore. Art started refusing to return, saying
that the therapy “wasn’t much help at all.” About 3 months after they stopped
going, Art started to escalate in his demands and controlling behavior once
again, saying that if Esther leaves he will “find a way” to get back at her,
making veiled threats about her safety. At other times, he said he would kill
himself if the two split up. All of this was complicated further by the fact
that Art had started drinking.
Esther was worried about
her own state of mind, and she was worried about Kendra. She didn’t know how
the fighting would affect her, and she had a nagging sense that there was some
relationship between Kendra’s tantrums and the overall stress level in the
home. There were wonderful times of joy and delight with Kendra, and Esther
loved her with all that she could. She also had Kendra’s older brother to care
for who, at age 4, was also having significant challenges behaviorally. Esther
was glad he would start school soon.
1) What are the major developmental
milestones for a 2 year old? What should Kendra be doing physically,
cognitively, and emotionally at this point?
2) What is the impact of
domestic violence on the family? On attachment patterns? Objectively, what
options does Esther have (in other words, what could she do if Art hits her
again)? In Esther’s mind, what options does she have?
3) What services (if any)
would you recommend for the family at this point?
4) How might you explain
Kendra’s behavior in light of the violence in the home?
5) What else is important for you to know about Kendra’s family at
this point? (Hint: Think about all that you don’t currently know about the
family that could be helpful for you with regard to demographic information.)
By age two, your child has reached many developmental milestones. According to Healthy Children.org (2012), children at age two should be able to walk alone and begin to run. They should also be able to walk up and down the stairs using the railing for support, and climb onto and down from furniture without assistance. Two-year-olds should possess the ability to use simple phrases, and say several words (Healthy Children.org, 2012). They should also be able to recognize names of familiar people and objects, and follow simple directions. Physically, Kendra should be gaining muscle control for toilet training, but still need some help in washing her hands. She should be able to carry a large toy, or several toys while walking, and also have the strength to kick a ball (Healthy Children.org, 2012). Developments in fine motor control are expressed as children reach two-years-old. Healthy Children.org state, “Children tend to scribble spontaneously, and favor the use of one hand more frequently than the other when drawing” (para. 4). In Kendra’s cognitive development, she should begin to sort shapes and colors, and possess the ability to recite the letters of the alphabet. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2011), two-year-olds should begin to engage in simple make-believe play with his or herself, or with others. Emotionally, Kendra should be demonstrating signs of increasing independence, and begin to express defiant behavior (Healthy Children.org, 2012). Children at the age of two imitate the behaviors of others, especially those of adults and other children. Two-year-olds typically play beside other children, but begin to include other children in their games (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011). The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2011) suggest that parents alert their pediatrician if their child displays any of the following signs of possible developmental delay: Their child does not use two-word sentences by the age of two, they can not walk steadily on their own, they lose skills they previously once obtained, and they are unaware of the function of common household objects.
ReplyDeleteFutures Without Violence (2012), state, “Nearly one in four women in the United States reports experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or boyfriend at some point in their life” (para. 4). Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear. Children who witness family violence are affected in many ways similar to children who are physically abused. They are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent, and they are at a greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home. American Psychological Association (2012) state that each year an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence against their mothers or female caretakers by family members. According to ACADV (n.d.), recent research indicates that children who witness domestic violence show more anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger, and temperament problems than children who do not witness violence in the home. “Research on attachment in infancy has shown that the more serious the level of partner violence, the higher the likelihood of insecure, specifically disorganized, attachments. It seems that frightening or frightened behavior of the caregiver might promote disorganized attachment”(Domestic Violence and Its Impact on Children’s Development, n.d., p. 4). The attachment figure, the mother in this case, is a source of both fear and comfort and babies are both afraid of, and for, their mothers, thus not obtaining help and comfort from its mother. If Art hits Esther again, she has many resources that she can turn to for help. Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence (2012) is an organization established to “create a society in which domestic violence no longer exists. They strive to meet the immediate needs of the diverse community of battered women and their children by providing emergency shelter and services, while working toward changing the systems that enable violence through education and advocacy” (para. 1). This organization has also available a 24 hour hotline that you can call to speak to a representative whenever needed. Esther also needs to make and memorize a list of emergency contact numbers she can use to contact those if she needs a ride, a place to stay, or help contacting the police if the abuse heightens. In Esther’s mind, she is thinking that she has to stay with Art. After he has made continuous threats toward her safety and his, Esther probably believes that staying with him is her only option at this point. She is scared of him and is afraid to take her two children and leave, afraid of what he would do to her if he ever caught her. Although she is providing an unsafe environment for her children to live in, she feels that taking her children away from their father will only provide more problems in their development. Esther also probably giving Art the benefit of the doubt, and believing that he will come to his senses and begin to control his behavior.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, we would recommend Art attend anger management sessions. Also, if Esther is afraid for her safety and the safety of her children, she could seek legal assistance. The entire family could also go for counseling instead of just Art and Esther. Since Kendra is having temper problems, it would be beneficial for her to be evaluated on her aggression so an intervention can begin. Kendra’s brother would also benefit from an evaluation and intervention on his behavior issues.
ReplyDeleteWe feel that Kendra is probably feeling stress from all the tension she is feeling at home. Even though she is only two years old, she probably feels stressed from all the arguing happening between her parents. She is not old enough to understand what they are arguing about or why but we are sure it still upsets her. She is probably learning her temper tantrums from the arguments her parents are having. When one of her parents does not get their way, then they start arguing with violent, raised voices. Kendra is learning to deal with her emotions in the same way. If she does not get something she wants, then she too cries and raises her voice. According to an article by the New York Times by Daniel Goleman (1985), a child may become either too prone to angry outbursts or overly fearful of expressing anger. It seems in this situation Kendra is more prone to having an angry outburst.
ReplyDeleteAdditional information that may be helpful to know about the Kleinman family is how old are Art and Esther, how long have they been married, did they go to college, what is their socioeconomic status, what ethnicity are they, where do they live, and do they have family (parents, siblings, etc) living nearby, what are their religious beliefs, are they active in this religion, have their finances stabilized, has Art ever been arrested for domestic violence, has he ever had anger issues before his marriage to Esther?
ReplyDeleteReferences:
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2012). Developmental milestones: 2 year olds. Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.healthychildren.org/english/ages-stages/toddler/pages/developmental-milestones-2-year-olds.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token&nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token
ACADV. (n.d.). The effects of domestic violence on children. Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.acadv.org/children.html#statistics
American Psychological Association. (2012). Violence and the family: Report of the apa presidential task force on violence and the family. Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://search.apa.org/search?query=Violence+and+the+Family%3A+Report+of+the+APA+Presidential+Task+Force+on+Violence+and+the+Family
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2011). Important milestones: Your child at two years. Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html
Domestic Violence and Its Impact on Children’s Development. (n.d.). Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.community.nsw.gov.au/docswr/_assets/main/documents/dv_paper.pdf
Futures Without Violence. (2012). Get the facts: The facts on domestic, dating, and sexual violence. Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/content/action_center/detail/754?gclid=COeP-b3hobACFQ5rhwodLBFsXQ
Goleman, D. (1985) Chronic arguing between parents found harmful to some children. Retrieved from The New York Times, May 27, 2012 from http://www.nytimes.com/1985/06/25/science/chronic-arguing-between-parents-found- harmful-to-some-children.html
Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence. (2007). Retrieved May 27, 2012, from http://www.wrcdv.org/